


DIY Fairy Bread

by Quinnoid



Series: Kitchen Crimes [2]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comfort, Gen, I'll work on cleaning it up at some point, Mild Guilt, i think, it's my universe and I say they all live in a big happy house, people got a bit OOC probably but ah well, sorry folks this is a bit unedited too. Circumstances have Happened, the inherent domesticity of sharing a late night snack and a few games of cards with friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26879521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinnoid/pseuds/Quinnoid
Summary: Azuweek Day 7: Free Day, so of course, I present to you my most favorite Food Crime ever. Because I am nothing if not myself.
Relationships: Azu (Rusty Quill Gaming) & Everyone, Cel/Zolf (background)
Series: Kitchen Crimes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965562
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11
Collections: Azu Week 2020





	DIY Fairy Bread

**Author's Note:**

> Ingredients for Quinn's Knockoff Fairy Bread: one slice of bread (preferably toasted), Pillsbury (or equivalent) vanilla frosting, stale Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. Chocolate syrup optional. Note: Have an alternative source of protein on hand. The sugar crash and subsequent headache from consuming this is Bad. Excruciating headache not depicted.
> 
> Azu's got a lot of guilt for some reason? Idk. Cel and Zolf are both older, probably in their 40s? Azu, Grizzop, and Sasha are in their early to mid 20’s, Hamid’s early 30’s.

Azu isn’t sneaky. She certainly does her best, especially late at night, because there are loose floorboards on the stairs that creak and moan, but Azu isn’t sneaky. So whenever she “sneaks” down to the kitchen for a midnight snack, it never surprises her that Sasha shows up within minutes, woken by a cupboard closed too loudly or a floorboard squeaking in protest or the squeal of the rusty pantry door hinge. Grizzop normally comes in mere seconds after Sasha, whispering loudly and animatedly as he jumps onto a barstool. Then Zolf, typically with a half asleep Cel in tow, stomps in grumpily, hissing at Grizzop to _“Be quiet! People are sleeping!”_ and grumbling at Azu _“Don’t mess up my kitchen.”_ , but once Cel sits down and pulls him into their lap, he calms. And finally, as if called by the promise of food, Hamid stumbles in and sits down next to Grizzop, and the six of them enjoy each other’s company and whatever snacks Azu digs up.

It’s practically become a weekend tradition for the entire household, but one Azu still feels rather guilty for accidentally creating. She never meant to wake everyone up, and it still twists her up a little bit that they all do.

Azu had woken up slightly hungry over an hour ago, and after tossing and turning and trying to fall back asleep, she gives up and makes her way to the kitchen, hoping a quick snack will settle her enough to drift back to sleep. She opens the pantry door and groans. No one had gone shopping, and while that may not have been a problem yesterday, six hungry people can clean out a kitchen quickly. She’s surprised that it got so barren, but if Cel had been distracting Zolf earlier, then shopping would have been pushed to the wayside. Azu sighs and scans the remaining food. There’s half of a loaf of bread, the remnants of a jar of Nutella, three cans of creamy vanilla frosting, an unholy amount of tinfoil and parchment paper, some spices, and, shoved in the back of the highest shelf, an open bag of Cinnamon Toast Crunch that someone had attempted to keep from Grizzop most likely. 

“Hungry?” Sasha whispers, only half startling Azu. She doesn’t jump so hard that she hits her head, so she counts it as a win for tonight. 

“Yeah.”

Sasha hums but doesn’t say anything else. Almost silently, she slips into her chair and pulls her knees up to her chest. She looks exhausted, dark circles standing out starkly against her pale skin.

“I’m sorry for waking you.” Azu says quietly. 

“Wasn’t asleep. You don’t gotta apologize Azu.”

It’s Azu’s turn to hum noncommittally. She doesn’t think Sasha’s lying, but nevertheless. She's still sorry. Deciding the pantry is a wash, she opens the fridge. Unsurprisingly, it’s also just about empty. Leftovers from dinner in a small tupperware, a half empty gallon of milk, ketchup, mustard, a small bottle of chocolate syrup, and three eggs. There’s not even any butter left, all of it going into some terrifying cake experiment of Cel’s the day before.

“Azu! Making snacks?” Grizzop says, his voice not even close to a whisper. He drags his chair from the table and the screech of wood on tile echoes through the house.

“Grizz! Shut up!” Sasha hisses, but there’s a glint of amusement in her eyes that Azu barely catches. “It’s like you’re tryin’ to wake Zolf up.”

Grizzop grins toothily and Azu rolls her eyes with Sasha. 

“There’s nothing really to eat. No one went to the store earlier.” Azu frowns as her stomach grumbles angrily. The leftovers are only mildly appealing, even though dinner had been a Zolf specialty stew she’s quite fond of. And nothing in the pantry is really worthy of being made into a proper snack.

“Oh. Well, just throw things together! It should turn out alright!” He grins again and props his feet up on Sasha’s chair, toes barely an inch from her ankles. She glares at him for just a moment before smirking slightly. Azu’s not quite sure how she did it without moving, but a second later, Grizzop and his chair topple over with a loud crash. Both of them burst out laughing, and Azu sighs.

“You two are children.” She mutters.

“Oi!” Zolf snarls from the doorway. A few paces behind him, Cel yawns and rubs their face. Half of their hair is valiantly defying gravity, while the rest is plastered to their forehead in platinum blonde and brown tufts. They place their hand on Zolf’s shoulder and barely stifle a laugh when they see how red his face is. He rounds on Grizzop and Sasha with a frown. “It is three in the morning! What is wrong with you two?”

“He started it.” Sasha mumbles. Grizzop just sets his chair back up and sits down, still laughing. 

“People. Are. Sleeping.” Zolf grouses. After a moment, he glares up at Azu. “And you. You allowed this.”

That familiar feeling of guilt and shame crawls up Azu’s throat uncomfortably, and she looks away. 

“Zolf!” Cel says, and their tone is suddenly awake and sharp and biting, cutting through the room like one of Sasha’s knives through butter. Butter they still don’t have, so toast is out of the question, Azu’s brain randomly supplies. “That was rude.” Zolf winces and then frowns when Cel leans down and hisses something in his ear.

“Sorry Azu.” Zolf says. “They’re right, yeah that was.. Yeah. ‘M sorry Azu.”

“It’s alright!” Azu says a little too cheerfully. Cel raises an eyebrow at her, but no one points it out. After yawning again, they sit down and tug Zolf into their lap, ignoring his protests as they wrap their arms around him in a hug. After a few more grumbly protests, he settles down. Grizzop and Sasha are already playfighting again when Azu goes back to the pantry. There’s no butter, but there _is_ frosting, and that’s white and spreadable. Maybe toast is an option. Toast.. And cinnamon toast crunch cereal. Maybe there’s a way to incorporate that. Azu nibbles on her lip. 

“Aw, you guys are adorable.” Grizzop teases. There’s a thud as someone kicks him, and he grunts. Zolf laughs as Grizzop curses Sasha. He's right though; Cel and Zolf are adorable, curled up on a chair together, Cel resting their chin on his shoulder, still half asleep but smiling and chatting. Azu thinks she's quite lucky to have met them all. Her stomach reminds her of her true goal: a snack. Preferably something sharable, something everyone will enjoy. 

“How about toast?” Azu asks, although she doesn’t really expect a reply. The conversation at the table had moved on to a friendly debate about bombs of all things, and no one seemed to have heard her.

“Toast sounds perfect Azu.” Hamid says quietly, startling everyone but Sasha.

“Hamid! Great! Now we can play Uno!” Grizzop beams mischievously at everyone. There’s a chorus of groans and whines, but he pulls out a gallon sized bag chock full of Uno cards anyways. “Alright, you know the rules. Everyone take a stack and shuffle please! Azu, you don’t need to shuffle if you’re making snacks of course. Oh, and Sasha? No stacking the deck. Or palming cards. Cel, watch her please?”

Azu turns away as the conversation devolves into audible pouting from Sasha and the sounds of shuffling Uno cards. Quickly, she begins toasting slices of bread. While they brown, she gathers all the possible toppings, and sets them on the counter along with six plates and a knife. After a moment's thought, she puts away the Nutella, ketchup, and mustard. Nothing good would come from ketchup or mustard on toast, and there isn’t enough Nutella for Sasha, let alone Grizzop and Cel. She also puts two of the cans of frosting back. She’s pretty certain only one will be necessary. That leaves her with one can of frosting, definitely stale cereal, and chocolate syrup.

“Er, Azu? What’re you making?” Sasha asks, drawing everyone’s attention back to her.

“Ah. Toast. Hopefully.” Azu replies just as the toaster dings. She pulls the first four pieces of bread out and starts the next batch. “Would you guys like to uh, add the toppings yourselves?”

“Nah, I trust you!” Grizzop exclaims. Zolf looks like he wants to protest, but a glare from Grizzop silences him. “Seriously! You’ve never made a bad midnight snack. Surprise us!”

Azu raises an eyebrow. There had definitely been some bad midnight snacks. The time Azu and Cel had taken leftover spaghetti and, despite Zolf’s _many_ protests, baked a pizza using the spaghetti as the crust, was probably among the worst, but everyone ate it anyway. Zolf looks suspiciously over the ingredients on the counter, but doesn’t say anything. Grizzop, after cutting the deck many times, begins to deal the cards.

“House rules yeah? No jumping in, stacking is okay on your turn only, Sasha, and only two skips may be laid down in one person’s turn, Hamid.” Both grumble as everyone starts looking at their cards. Grizzop turns to Azu. “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll deal you in, okay?”

Azu nods.

“Actually Grizz, I think I’m gonna sit this round out and help Az.” Cel says, slipping out from under Zolf and coming over to Azu. Sasha and Grizzop almost immediately start arguing about who goes first. They look over Azu’s ingredients and grin. “Oh, I see. You’re trying to give everyone a sugar rush.” They tease quietly.

Azu frowns. This snack has become quite aggravating to make, at this point not really even worth the effort. “Oh. I didn’t think about that.”

“Oh! Hun! I’m just teasing. Besides, hyper Grizzop and Sasha are a treat, and I am all for creating hell for Zolf.” They smile at Azu, but falter when she doesn’t return it. “I’m sorry Azu. Did I upset you? I didn’t-”

“No, no, it’s fine. I just didn’t think about-”

“Az. Remember our little chat about uh, guilt, and how it can be rather ah.. Invasive? Like a parasite that infects your sterile chemicals, and you've gotta.. Oh gosh what metaphor did I use?”

Azu chuckles, despite herself. “You told me I needed to autoclave my guilt.”

“Ah. That.. doesn’t make any actual sense in hindsight.” Cel opens the can of frosting and passes it and the knife to Azu. 

“Not particularly, but it’s alright. I just..” Azu pauses as Grizzop shrieks indignantly over Hamid’s chuckles. “I still feel bad everyone gets up with me every weekend.”

“We wouldn’t get up if we didn’t enjoy it.” Azu scoffs. “Seriously! No one would be here if we didn’t want to spend time with each other. You’ve made a good thing Azu.” Cel nudges her, and she gives them a small half smile. “Now, c’mon. I wanna see what this tastes like, and also what it’ll do to Grizzop.”

Azu takes a deep breath and begins spreading the frosting on the first slice of toast. When she’s done, Cel grabs the plate and hands her the next one. As she ‘butters’, Cel sprinkles the cereal and drizzles chocolate syrup over everyone’s but Zolf’s. When all six plates are finished, they grin cheekily at Azu and hand one to her. “First bite’s yours.”

Cautiously, Azu takes a bite and chews slowly. It’s almost sickeningly sweet, but surprisingly, it’s really good. The frosting pairs really well with the toast, and the staleness of the cereal feels.. Important somehow. The chocolate is also a nice touch. Azu doesn’t really know how to properly judge food like Zolf, but she thinks this might genuinely be the best snack she’s ever made. Cel watches her take another bite and their grin morphs into a genuine smile. Quickly, they hand out the rest of the plates, and everyone digs in between an argument over whether putting down an even number of reverses should be allowed.

“Hey Azu! Cel! You ready to join? Sasha’s _cheating_ , so we need to restart anyway.” Grizzop says.

“Am not!”

“Look, Sasha. We watched you slip a card in your sleeve, right? And you have another under your foot.” Zolf smiles apologetically when she frowns. “But I’m sure you have way more I don’t know about.”

Everyone laughs as she pulls four more cards from her sleeve and another two from her pockets. The cards are divvied out and shuffled again.

“Oi, Azu.” Zolf says. “This is surprisngly pretty good.”

“Yeah! I love the sugar!” Grizzop exclaims. Sasha nods, finishing off the last bite of her toast.

“I think this might be one for the recipe book.” Hamid says.

Cel already has one of the books, the fourth, Azu believes, in Zolf’s lap, and is writing the ingredients while looking over his shoulder. “What should we name it?” 

“Well, it’s sorta like Fairy Bread.” Grizzop says. Everyone stares at him, eyebrows raised. “You’ve never had Fairy Bread? Oh jeez. Okay, uh, well, usually it’s just bread with butter and sprinkles on it. I’ve had it a couple times when I was a kid but.. Yeah. anyway! It’s an Azu version of Fairy Bread!”

Azu bites her lip. She has an idea for the name, but it feels rather silly and much less whimsical than Fairy Bread.

“Fairy Bread is a good name. Anyone else?” Cel replies.

“I think Azu should name it.” Hamid says, finishing his slice as well. “It’s quite good Azu. I actually really enjoyed it.”

“Oh. Okay.” Azu pauses. Now or never, right? “How about Uno Bread?”

Grizzop, Hamid, and Sasha grin, and even Zolf cracks a smile. “Uno Bread it is then!” Cel exclaims, and with a flourish, they close the recipe book and toss it on the counter. “That’s a good name Az. Shall we play?”

“Yes!” Grizzop says, and he grabs a portion of the deck with shaky fingers and hands it to Azu to deal. “Azu there was a lot of sugar in that.”

Everyone laughs and Azu deals the next round of Uno. The rest of the night devolves into loud, exaggerated arguments about niche Uno rules and laughing at hyper Grizzop and Sasha antics. 

When Azu makes her way back to bed, she’s content. While the guilt at everyone waking up in the dead of the night just because she gets snacky is still there, each happy memory she makes slowly pushes it down. And it helps that everyone always reassures her in their own little ways that they enjoy the time spent together. Sasha, still not one for hugs, often gives her rather awkward, one armed hugs. Zolf smiles one of his rare smiles, and Cel pulls her into a huge hug and kisses her on the temple. Grizzop jumps on her back while they all make their ways to their respective rooms, almost always knocking her into a wall. Hamid always quietly thanks her for making them snacks.

Before she dozes off, her phone dings.

**Cel (4:23AM): we all had fun love, thanks for making snacks! z says hes sorry for being such a grumpy ass and will make you a big apology breakfast after he goes shopping.**

**Sasha (4:23 AM): thx Zu**

**Hamid (4:25 AM): Thank you for the snack Azu I had so much fun! Sleep well <3**

**Grizzop (4:27 AM): Azu! That was fun! You should make that toast stuff again! I won’t sleep for a week!**

Smiling, Azu replies to everyone before turning her phone off and falling asleep.

She wakes up a few hours later to the heavenly smell of pancakes and coffee wafting through the house. Apparently, Zolf had gone shopping.

**Author's Note:**

> Azu's thought process towards making this was mine. See, this was invented one night not too long ago when I was housesitting and made toast before realizing there was no butter. From there, I just decided to have fun, and it actually turned out well?
> 
> Anyway. Thank you to the mods for running Azuweek, I had a blast writing and reading all the fics!
> 
> And thank you @kimabutch for the 'leftover spaghetti pizza crust' crime! I did not test that one, but I can only imagine how.. interesting it tasted lol.


End file.
